Managing Conflict

This past week, I was presented with a conflict.  My initial reaction was one of anger - a very normal response.  I was not happy about the situation.  I wanted to publicly confront an individual about a situation.

Then I decided that being angry wasn’t going to solve anything (and would probably make the situation worse), so I decided I would determine what I could learn from the situation.

What I learned first was a reminder that I cannot control other people - either in what they do or how they think.

Second, I remembered that anger usually stems from the feeling of loss.  In this case the loss I was feeling was the sense that I would be wasting a lot of time on a situation that I didn’t think warranted the time.

Third, I remembered my background and what I learned from all those experiences.  This assisted me to really see what was happening and to determine where I would focus my attention.

Lastly, I decided to refocus my efforts and attention on the idea of excellence - raising the bar.  Many times raising the bar means that others will not be willing to rise up with you - you have to be willing to let them go and learn their own lessons.

Managing conflict isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be impossible.  Take what you’ve learned from past conflicts - the good and the bad - and learn from these experiences.  Conflict isn’t always a bad thing - there is much to be learned from it.  What are learning from your conflicts?